Friday, February 29, 2008
Deleted last post
Not really comfortable after all having such intimate details/confessions up in a public space.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
INTERESTING 20/20 experiment on racism & teen vandals
What Would You Do If You Witnessed a Break-In? Black, White Teen Vandals Break Into a Car, Generating Different Responses From Public
"The experiment started with three was an early spring afternoon in a suburban New Jersey park. Families, couples, runners and dog-walkers populated the area.
Attention was turned to a group of three white teenage boys walking toward a car — an older, well-kept model in an open parking lot. They laughed at the car's "vintage" appearance.
Zac vaulted up on the car's hood and Justin K. looked around, furtively eyeing passersby. Meanwhile, Sam pulled a Jimmy stick from his pants and began breaking into the car ... People passed by but paid little or no attention to the mischief-makers, until the boys pulled out cans of paint and began spraying graffiti on the car."
Most people just kept walking on by, with puzzled looks on their faces. One white guy, a jogger, confronted the kids. One person called 911.
Oddly, 911 received TWO calls at the same time about three black kids SLEEPING in a car, saying that the kids "look like they're getting ready to rob someone."
Then, the identical car vandalism experiment was repeated, this time with three BLACK teens. Duh, guess what happened. People started whipping out their cell phones and dialing 911 immediately -- 10 calls in all. And what I thought was interesting too was that it wasn't just whites calling 911 or confronting the kids, but a Latino family called the cops and an Asian lady directly confronted them.
Two women who called the cops said this: "I did notice they were African-American young boys in a white neighborhood," said Joan A. "But if they had been white kids, I mean, I would have done exactly the same thing." (Really?)
This was a fascinating piece that really cemented for me the reality of white privilege, and the fact that so many people ARE racist but not even consciously aware of it. They see white kids messing up a car and probably just assume they're "messing around." They see black kids and are like, "WHOA, let's call the cops!" I wonder, though, if this goes beyond white privilege, since some Latinos and at least one Asian were alarmed by the black teen vandals. I wonder if Latinos and Asians have more privilege in our society than blacks. I think they do in many instances. I've encountered anti-black sentiment, or at least FEAR of blacks, from other minority groups, most notably the Middle Eastern guys I used to work with at Domino's and the Chinese lady I work with sometimes (she lives in a suburb of LA and told me that she's scared to go into certain parts of LA b/c of all the black people).
I'm STILL trying to hash out my post on white privilege, and why many whites don't understand it, and how I'm learning to understand it. I think much racism toward blacks is grounded in FEAR of blacks. I grew up with it instilled in me, my dad would say, "they're more racist against us than we are against them," and he insists that when he goes to Lenox Mall or anywhere where he's the minority that the blacks bump into him on purpose trying to provoke him (I think he's paranoid). Many whites grow up/go to school around 99% whites and most blacks they see are criminals on the news, so they get a skewed view, and find black people threatening (Unless they're the Huxtables or Erkel). Make sense? The researcher helping ABC with the experiment essentially said the same thing.
"The experiment started with three was an early spring afternoon in a suburban New Jersey park. Families, couples, runners and dog-walkers populated the area.
Attention was turned to a group of three white teenage boys walking toward a car — an older, well-kept model in an open parking lot. They laughed at the car's "vintage" appearance.
Zac vaulted up on the car's hood and Justin K. looked around, furtively eyeing passersby. Meanwhile, Sam pulled a Jimmy stick from his pants and began breaking into the car ... People passed by but paid little or no attention to the mischief-makers, until the boys pulled out cans of paint and began spraying graffiti on the car."
Most people just kept walking on by, with puzzled looks on their faces. One white guy, a jogger, confronted the kids. One person called 911.
Oddly, 911 received TWO calls at the same time about three black kids SLEEPING in a car, saying that the kids "look like they're getting ready to rob someone."
Then, the identical car vandalism experiment was repeated, this time with three BLACK teens. Duh, guess what happened. People started whipping out their cell phones and dialing 911 immediately -- 10 calls in all. And what I thought was interesting too was that it wasn't just whites calling 911 or confronting the kids, but a Latino family called the cops and an Asian lady directly confronted them.
Two women who called the cops said this: "I did notice they were African-American young boys in a white neighborhood," said Joan A. "But if they had been white kids, I mean, I would have done exactly the same thing." (Really?)
This was a fascinating piece that really cemented for me the reality of white privilege, and the fact that so many people ARE racist but not even consciously aware of it. They see white kids messing up a car and probably just assume they're "messing around." They see black kids and are like, "WHOA, let's call the cops!" I wonder, though, if this goes beyond white privilege, since some Latinos and at least one Asian were alarmed by the black teen vandals. I wonder if Latinos and Asians have more privilege in our society than blacks. I think they do in many instances. I've encountered anti-black sentiment, or at least FEAR of blacks, from other minority groups, most notably the Middle Eastern guys I used to work with at Domino's and the Chinese lady I work with sometimes (she lives in a suburb of LA and told me that she's scared to go into certain parts of LA b/c of all the black people).
I'm STILL trying to hash out my post on white privilege, and why many whites don't understand it, and how I'm learning to understand it. I think much racism toward blacks is grounded in FEAR of blacks. I grew up with it instilled in me, my dad would say, "they're more racist against us than we are against them," and he insists that when he goes to Lenox Mall or anywhere where he's the minority that the blacks bump into him on purpose trying to provoke him (I think he's paranoid). Many whites grow up/go to school around 99% whites and most blacks they see are criminals on the news, so they get a skewed view, and find black people threatening (Unless they're the Huxtables or Erkel). Make sense? The researcher helping ABC with the experiment essentially said the same thing.
More white trash stories
Have been going through my old LJ archives in search of something good to repost. Most of it is super depressing. I forgot how much my life really sucked for awhile there and how many stupid situations I got myself into. Also, god, I was a total dumbass. Amazing how four to five years can straighten one out. I may just delete most of it except for the few good posts. Here's one ...
I am a goddamn redneck. (2004-10-19 04:26)
[Shithead musician ex-boyfriend] and I just got back from redneck/heavy metal/lesbian karaoke night at the Star Bar. One of his buddies was there who owns a rib shack in Alpharetta, the name of which I can’t remember, but he said that the dude from The Time (remember Purple Rain?) ate in there once, he figured the guy was just in town to hang out with Bobby and Whitney, but he later found out thru some personal investigations that the dude actually lives around there.
Anyway, the dude that owns the rib joint makes his own pork rinds. I got to try a free sample, it was decent, but still a bit crusty compared to those fluffy Texas Pete flavored ones you can get at Quik Trip that taste fabulous with a V-8 and a Monster Energy lite. Almost as good as those hot pickled hot dogs with a Mountain Dew.
I once saw this dude in dirty, torn white blue jeans, with a blonde mullet, hop onto his bicycle outside the Circle M, open up his Mountain Dew, take a swig, light a cigarette, and take off pedaling. That guy is *still* one of my heroes.
I have recently found out some more good dirt on my white trash relatives. My mom’s grandfather (we called him Pap – he spoke with such a thick German accent I couldn’t understand a word he said), it turns out, was a hobo in the 40s and 50s. Once his wife put out a missing persons’ report on him, and the cops eventually found him in South Carolina, working on a chain gang.
My grandfather (mom’s dad) is approaching 80 and has a live-in mistress who is essentially his primary caretaker and nurse. He takes so many Xanax every day that he doesn’t like walking around too much. Anyway. Poppy (g-pa) used to be a truck driver, and I think he met his mistress while on the road. My mom was pissed when she found out that Poppy had been seeing her for over 20 years (i.e. while my grandmother was still alive, she died in ’93). But, my mom should just shut up – it’s not like she can afford an old folks’ home for him anyway.
When I was a kid, we would go to Poppy’s house (where his son and his wife and their kids [my uncle and cousins] also lived, and Pap lived in the backyard in his own little trailer) on our birthdays and my mom would ask Poppy to give us some birthday money. He would pull out his wallet, about 3 inches thick with bills, and pull out a hundred. ”Oh, I’ve only got a hundred. Do you have any change?” That pissed me off! >:( So, one day he came to visit, and I turned off the lights and pretended I wasn’t home. Heh heh. He knew I was home tho.
Poppy and Gran-Gran (my mom’s parents) had a little sideline in the ’50s, my mom told me – they would take empty gelatin capsules and fill them with baking soda and sell them to truckers as Bennies.
Anyway, back to my great-grandfather Pap. When my mom was a kid (late ’50s), Pap worked for awhile as a chicken catcher. (My hometown, Gainesville, Ga., claims to be the ”Poultry Capital of the World”). Chicken catching involved getting pretty lit on whiskey (or whatever), then running around chicken cages and catching the birds by hand (I guess chicken claws an inch deep in your flesh don’t hurt as much when you’ve got a gullet full of Jack). My mom said she always knew what it meant when she saw blue lights in her living room at 3 in the morning. ”Oh, the cops are bringing Pap home from work! He must be drunk again!” She said the cops loved Pap, and she’d hear them say ”You have a nice night Mr. Garrett” when he’d stumble out of the squad car.
So even though Poppy only had hundreds, Gran-Gran would feel guilty, mutter a mild curse at Poppy, then dig into her shirt collar and pull her coin purse out of her bra (she always kept it there), and would usually give us a $10 or a $20. She had a decent job at the Chicken Plant. Poppy had worked as a Hall County prison guard from as far back as I can remember, and I think by the time I was in Middle School he was drawing Social Security. Me and my parents wondered how Poppy could have even been remotely effective in guarding prisoners while they paved the roads, unchained. Doubtful he would have been motivated enough to chase them.
My uncle (mom’s brother) dyed his hair blonde back in the early 80s, during the heyday of Dukes of Hazzard, in order to look like Bo Duke. In addition to that, he somehow got his hands on a 1969 Dodge Charger and painted it to look exactly like the General Lee. He liked to drive it around Covington and honk his Dixie horn. Around 1988 or ’89 Richard bought a 50s black Cadillac with huge fins on the back and tried to convert it into a Batmobile. The project
was unsuccessful.
I wonder why I am telling you all this. Because I find it incredibly amusing I guess. ;p
I am a goddamn redneck. (2004-10-19 04:26)
[Shithead musician ex-boyfriend] and I just got back from redneck/heavy metal/lesbian karaoke night at the Star Bar. One of his buddies was there who owns a rib shack in Alpharetta, the name of which I can’t remember, but he said that the dude from The Time (remember Purple Rain?) ate in there once, he figured the guy was just in town to hang out with Bobby and Whitney, but he later found out thru some personal investigations that the dude actually lives around there.
Anyway, the dude that owns the rib joint makes his own pork rinds. I got to try a free sample, it was decent, but still a bit crusty compared to those fluffy Texas Pete flavored ones you can get at Quik Trip that taste fabulous with a V-8 and a Monster Energy lite. Almost as good as those hot pickled hot dogs with a Mountain Dew.
I once saw this dude in dirty, torn white blue jeans, with a blonde mullet, hop onto his bicycle outside the Circle M, open up his Mountain Dew, take a swig, light a cigarette, and take off pedaling. That guy is *still* one of my heroes.
I have recently found out some more good dirt on my white trash relatives. My mom’s grandfather (we called him Pap – he spoke with such a thick German accent I couldn’t understand a word he said), it turns out, was a hobo in the 40s and 50s. Once his wife put out a missing persons’ report on him, and the cops eventually found him in South Carolina, working on a chain gang.
My grandfather (mom’s dad) is approaching 80 and has a live-in mistress who is essentially his primary caretaker and nurse. He takes so many Xanax every day that he doesn’t like walking around too much. Anyway. Poppy (g-pa) used to be a truck driver, and I think he met his mistress while on the road. My mom was pissed when she found out that Poppy had been seeing her for over 20 years (i.e. while my grandmother was still alive, she died in ’93). But, my mom should just shut up – it’s not like she can afford an old folks’ home for him anyway.
When I was a kid, we would go to Poppy’s house (where his son and his wife and their kids [my uncle and cousins] also lived, and Pap lived in the backyard in his own little trailer) on our birthdays and my mom would ask Poppy to give us some birthday money. He would pull out his wallet, about 3 inches thick with bills, and pull out a hundred. ”Oh, I’ve only got a hundred. Do you have any change?” That pissed me off! >:( So, one day he came to visit, and I turned off the lights and pretended I wasn’t home. Heh heh. He knew I was home tho.
Poppy and Gran-Gran (my mom’s parents) had a little sideline in the ’50s, my mom told me – they would take empty gelatin capsules and fill them with baking soda and sell them to truckers as Bennies.
Anyway, back to my great-grandfather Pap. When my mom was a kid (late ’50s), Pap worked for awhile as a chicken catcher. (My hometown, Gainesville, Ga., claims to be the ”Poultry Capital of the World”). Chicken catching involved getting pretty lit on whiskey (or whatever), then running around chicken cages and catching the birds by hand (I guess chicken claws an inch deep in your flesh don’t hurt as much when you’ve got a gullet full of Jack). My mom said she always knew what it meant when she saw blue lights in her living room at 3 in the morning. ”Oh, the cops are bringing Pap home from work! He must be drunk again!” She said the cops loved Pap, and she’d hear them say ”You have a nice night Mr. Garrett” when he’d stumble out of the squad car.
So even though Poppy only had hundreds, Gran-Gran would feel guilty, mutter a mild curse at Poppy, then dig into her shirt collar and pull her coin purse out of her bra (she always kept it there), and would usually give us a $10 or a $20. She had a decent job at the Chicken Plant. Poppy had worked as a Hall County prison guard from as far back as I can remember, and I think by the time I was in Middle School he was drawing Social Security. Me and my parents wondered how Poppy could have even been remotely effective in guarding prisoners while they paved the roads, unchained. Doubtful he would have been motivated enough to chase them.
My uncle (mom’s brother) dyed his hair blonde back in the early 80s, during the heyday of Dukes of Hazzard, in order to look like Bo Duke. In addition to that, he somehow got his hands on a 1969 Dodge Charger and painted it to look exactly like the General Lee. He liked to drive it around Covington and honk his Dixie horn. Around 1988 or ’89 Richard bought a 50s black Cadillac with huge fins on the back and tried to convert it into a Batmobile. The project
was unsuccessful.
I wonder why I am telling you all this. Because I find it incredibly amusing I guess. ;p
Friday, February 22, 2008
Yes, this has been done before ...
But I finally now have tracked enough Google hits on my blog (via Google Analytics) to see some of the bizarre keyword searches that people have used to find my blog. These aren't in any particular order, but some that I found most amusing, or baffling that other people are looking for this crap (even if I was the one writing about it):
The top hits most recently came from these search strings:
1. foot fetish
2. "blanche debris"
3. black jfk
4. goth girls gone wild
5. david caruso
6. demented dispatches from the deep south (hey, at least they're looking by name now)
7. godparents youth organization
8. kfc commercial dad band
9. kfc commercial dad was in a band
10. kool aid west memphis ar (??? missing the e on are there)
And I didn't even write about *that* kfc commercial ...
Other notable hits, by theme:
1. The WM3 may be guilty:
damien echol's psychiatric history; damien echols guilty; damien echols admits guilt; damien echols; wm3; west memphis three are guilty; the wm3 did it; transcripts of the west memphis three trial; west memphis three crime scene photos; larry king west memphis; ad nauseum ...
That ONE WM3 post gets 3 times the hits of anything else I've blogged about. Does anyone else have ONE random post that seems to just get all the attention? Especially if it was a damn one-off "blah blah nyah" post? Note to self: people love to troll around the skewering of sacred cows ... (AGAIN, for the trolls: They probably didn't do it. But then again, I used to hang with boys like Damien when I was a teenager. So, maybe they did ...)
2. WTF is up with that KKK store downtown:
kennesaw kkk; wildman kennesaw; wildman dent myers; "dent myers" racist; dent wildman; deep south + racism; kennesaw kkk shop; kennesaw wildman; wildman store; whitey + merchandise; etc etc.
Apparently I am now one of the top sites that comes up when you search for the Wildman. John Sugg, I'm waiting for you to come interview me. "One woman's noble crusade to unmask Dent Myers." Oh, wait -- you mean everyone already knows?
3. Sex:
foot fetish; foot modeling; sex surrogate; black brothels deep south; chicago+streetwalking; chicago prostitutes; chicago street walking problems; davida fetish model; deep fetish photos; demented feet; foot fetish blogspot; goth girls gone bad; my husband has a foot fetish; now hillary gang rape; puerto rican whorehouses; sex-positive feminism; tim slagle strip club; what does the sex term limp mean; erin smith atlanta porn; equestrian love community stern; moral value of contraceptive; facebook rape; dolores french fat (no, I didn't say that)
I'd better watch out before I end up in the pink ghetto (ha, ha) ...
4. Race:
"black jfk": racist kfc commercial; black kfc racism; fuckin their sister chris rock; high-yella girls blog; kkk guy in gainesville; memphis city schools racial makeup; oakwood ga kkk; youtube racism privilege
To validate all your deep south stereotypes, I grew up in an area with pretty visible KKK activity. Even it it was just two or three lone nuts, they made enough noise to end up on Jerry Springer. No, I'm not proud. It's just a fact. Thankfully, those guys are dying off. I pray that time will heal all wounds.
5. Politics:
dream act "illegal immigration policy"; dispatches child labor; how are absentee votes counted in georgia; how can i tell if i'm registered to vote; obama shadow government; organ donation gone bad; pc correct term for transgender; racial makeup of city schools of decatur; skinny privilege; southern public schools backwards; southern identity; why marxism doesn't work
6. Assorted:
stupid shit people buy on ebay; really bad southern food; sassy magazine back issues; trail of tears; walgreens cheap antibiotics; todays bad horoscope; trail of tears, thomas paine; what is the font on the cover of the bell jar (YES!!! So glad to help out my fellow travelers); work for the onion
The top hits most recently came from these search strings:
1. foot fetish
2. "blanche debris"
3. black jfk
4. goth girls gone wild
5. david caruso
6. demented dispatches from the deep south (hey, at least they're looking by name now)
7. godparents youth organization
8. kfc commercial dad band
9. kfc commercial dad was in a band
10. kool aid west memphis ar (??? missing the e on are there)
And I didn't even write about *that* kfc commercial ...
Other notable hits, by theme:
1. The WM3 may be guilty:
damien echol's psychiatric history; damien echols guilty; damien echols admits guilt; damien echols; wm3; west memphis three are guilty; the wm3 did it; transcripts of the west memphis three trial; west memphis three crime scene photos; larry king west memphis; ad nauseum ...
That ONE WM3 post gets 3 times the hits of anything else I've blogged about. Does anyone else have ONE random post that seems to just get all the attention? Especially if it was a damn one-off "blah blah nyah" post? Note to self: people love to troll around the skewering of sacred cows ... (AGAIN, for the trolls: They probably didn't do it. But then again, I used to hang with boys like Damien when I was a teenager. So, maybe they did ...)
2. WTF is up with that KKK store downtown:
kennesaw kkk; wildman kennesaw; wildman dent myers; "dent myers" racist; dent wildman; deep south + racism; kennesaw kkk shop; kennesaw wildman; wildman store; whitey + merchandise; etc etc.
Apparently I am now one of the top sites that comes up when you search for the Wildman. John Sugg, I'm waiting for you to come interview me. "One woman's noble crusade to unmask Dent Myers." Oh, wait -- you mean everyone already knows?
3. Sex:
foot fetish; foot modeling; sex surrogate; black brothels deep south; chicago+streetwalking; chicago prostitutes; chicago street walking problems; davida fetish model; deep fetish photos; demented feet; foot fetish blogspot; goth girls gone bad; my husband has a foot fetish; now hillary gang rape; puerto rican whorehouses; sex-positive feminism; tim slagle strip club; what does the sex term limp mean; erin smith atlanta porn; equestrian love community stern; moral value of contraceptive; facebook rape; dolores french fat (no, I didn't say that)
I'd better watch out before I end up in the pink ghetto (ha, ha) ...
4. Race:
"black jfk": racist kfc commercial; black kfc racism; fuckin their sister chris rock; high-yella girls blog; kkk guy in gainesville; memphis city schools racial makeup; oakwood ga kkk; youtube racism privilege
To validate all your deep south stereotypes, I grew up in an area with pretty visible KKK activity. Even it it was just two or three lone nuts, they made enough noise to end up on Jerry Springer. No, I'm not proud. It's just a fact. Thankfully, those guys are dying off. I pray that time will heal all wounds.
5. Politics:
dream act "illegal immigration policy"; dispatches child labor; how are absentee votes counted in georgia; how can i tell if i'm registered to vote; obama shadow government; organ donation gone bad; pc correct term for transgender; racial makeup of city schools of decatur; skinny privilege; southern public schools backwards; southern identity; why marxism doesn't work
6. Assorted:
stupid shit people buy on ebay; really bad southern food; sassy magazine back issues; trail of tears; walgreens cheap antibiotics; todays bad horoscope; trail of tears, thomas paine; what is the font on the cover of the bell jar (YES!!! So glad to help out my fellow travelers); work for the onion
Ha, I took a comedy class with this guy ...
New Georgia Lottery Host Set To Make TV Debut
Oldish news, but too weird to recognize the Georgia Lottery announcer (John Crow)!
Oldish news, but too weird to recognize the Georgia Lottery announcer (John Crow)!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The new and improved Myers-Briggs test
I blogged about this long ago on me olde LJ, but thought I'd resurrect it for my, you know, much larger reading audience over here. A Twitter exchange I had last night with @rustytanton made me think of this ...
An old editor of mine once told me a theory that people can be divided into the following personality types: Beatles/Elvis, Cat/Dog. I am (duh) Beatles/Cat. My inlaws are staunchly Elvis/Dog. My dad is Beatles/Dog, my mom is Elvis/Dog. Now, it doesn't matter if you don't actually like EITHER the Beatles or Elvis, you need to dig a little deeper and look at this on an aesthetic level as well.
I guess if you wanted to get persnickety we could throw in a "z" axis here of Who/Stones, of which I would be staunchly Who, though I lean Stones on Their Satanic Majesties Request, Flowers and Aftermath. And I don't like the Who all that much after Tommy, though Who's Next and Quadrophenia are alright.
Then, of course, for people who don't like cats or dogs, we'd have to throw in an axis of bird/fish or something. Though I would pretty much consider all pets but dogs in the "cat" category, b/c dogs are the most high-maintenance, drooly/slobbery/destructive of all pets. You don't have to "fly" a bird or "swim" a fish. Just as you don't need to "walk" a cat. Cats, like birds/fish/amphibians/reptiles, can all be kept in contained spaces and aren't used as guard animals. Now, is this reasoning making any more sense? No? Ha ha ...
But anyway, with (B)eatles/(E)lvis, (D)og/(C)at we only have two-lettered types, me being a BC. I think the next best indicator categories we could throw in are (T)arget/(W)al-Mart and (M)ac/(P)C. This would make my inlaws EDWM, though I'm not sure how often they shop at Wal-Mart. My mother in law really likes mall stores better, so I guess we could throw in a z-axis of JC Penney/Neiman Marcus? Ha ha. My folks, god bless em, are EDWP. My husband, then, is a BCWM.
I'm a BCWP. FUCK YOU! Oooh, I'm getting defensive. Why am I admitting this? I guess a lifetime of brokeness. I'm a (P) b/c I learned computers on the PC and used them at my first news reporting job and learned all the text hotkeys. Plus, the PC does everything I want or need it to, at 1/2 or less the cost of a Mac. My husband is a (M) b/c he edits film. You can't really do that stuff on the PC. I'm a (W) b/c I have no soul, I guess. Well, lemme explain. About 8 years ago I bought a skirt at Wal-Mart (and I grew up shopping at Wal-Mart, mind you). I was shopping at Rich's or Macy's or some store like that a few days later, and saw the *exact same skirt* hanging on the rack for $40 or so, when I gave, like, $10 for it at Wal-Mart. I have a sneaking suspicion that all the "made in China" stuff sold at Target, Macy's, JC Penney, Goody's, Ross, wherever, all comes out of the same factories anyway. The freegans are onto this too ("We came to realize that the problem isn't just a few bad corporations but the entire system itself"). I'm cheap like a freegan, and honestly have bought most of my clothes at Goodwill for the past two years anyway. And I like dumpster diving like a freegan. Never got my *food* there, but I would if I knew where I could get some non-rotten goodies. But unlike the freegans, I like capitalism. (Remind me to post about the "communal" living situation I found myself in about four years ago. There is NO SUCH THING as a kind, sharing society without competition -- not as long as there are humans with EGOS in it).
Yes, Target is better for the community b/c they appear to give more back, in charity dollars, while the Walton kids keep it all for themselves. But, my problem with Target is that they have most of the exact same Chinese goods as the evil smiley-face store, but often for 30% to 50% more. So if it's sweatshops you're worried about, why pay more for the same crap at the "nice" retailer? I applaud the freegans for at least not being hypocrites.
An old editor of mine once told me a theory that people can be divided into the following personality types: Beatles/Elvis, Cat/Dog. I am (duh) Beatles/Cat. My inlaws are staunchly Elvis/Dog. My dad is Beatles/Dog, my mom is Elvis/Dog. Now, it doesn't matter if you don't actually like EITHER the Beatles or Elvis, you need to dig a little deeper and look at this on an aesthetic level as well.
I guess if you wanted to get persnickety we could throw in a "z" axis here of Who/Stones, of which I would be staunchly Who, though I lean Stones on Their Satanic Majesties Request, Flowers and Aftermath. And I don't like the Who all that much after Tommy, though Who's Next and Quadrophenia are alright.
Then, of course, for people who don't like cats or dogs, we'd have to throw in an axis of bird/fish or something. Though I would pretty much consider all pets but dogs in the "cat" category, b/c dogs are the most high-maintenance, drooly/slobbery/destructive of all pets. You don't have to "fly" a bird or "swim" a fish. Just as you don't need to "walk" a cat. Cats, like birds/fish/amphibians/reptiles, can all be kept in contained spaces and aren't used as guard animals. Now, is this reasoning making any more sense? No? Ha ha ...
But anyway, with (B)eatles/(E)lvis, (D)og/(C)at we only have two-lettered types, me being a BC. I think the next best indicator categories we could throw in are (T)arget/(W)al-Mart and (M)ac/(P)C. This would make my inlaws EDWM, though I'm not sure how often they shop at Wal-Mart. My mother in law really likes mall stores better, so I guess we could throw in a z-axis of JC Penney/Neiman Marcus? Ha ha. My folks, god bless em, are EDWP. My husband, then, is a BCWM.
I'm a BCWP. FUCK YOU! Oooh, I'm getting defensive. Why am I admitting this? I guess a lifetime of brokeness. I'm a (P) b/c I learned computers on the PC and used them at my first news reporting job and learned all the text hotkeys. Plus, the PC does everything I want or need it to, at 1/2 or less the cost of a Mac. My husband is a (M) b/c he edits film. You can't really do that stuff on the PC. I'm a (W) b/c I have no soul, I guess. Well, lemme explain. About 8 years ago I bought a skirt at Wal-Mart (and I grew up shopping at Wal-Mart, mind you). I was shopping at Rich's or Macy's or some store like that a few days later, and saw the *exact same skirt* hanging on the rack for $40 or so, when I gave, like, $10 for it at Wal-Mart. I have a sneaking suspicion that all the "made in China" stuff sold at Target, Macy's, JC Penney, Goody's, Ross, wherever, all comes out of the same factories anyway. The freegans are onto this too ("We came to realize that the problem isn't just a few bad corporations but the entire system itself"). I'm cheap like a freegan, and honestly have bought most of my clothes at Goodwill for the past two years anyway. And I like dumpster diving like a freegan. Never got my *food* there, but I would if I knew where I could get some non-rotten goodies. But unlike the freegans, I like capitalism. (Remind me to post about the "communal" living situation I found myself in about four years ago. There is NO SUCH THING as a kind, sharing society without competition -- not as long as there are humans with EGOS in it).
Yes, Target is better for the community b/c they appear to give more back, in charity dollars, while the Walton kids keep it all for themselves. But, my problem with Target is that they have most of the exact same Chinese goods as the evil smiley-face store, but often for 30% to 50% more. So if it's sweatshops you're worried about, why pay more for the same crap at the "nice" retailer? I applaud the freegans for at least not being hypocrites.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
REASON magazine = AWESOME
If any of you guys would like a completely unobstructed view of my (rather unpopular, in some of my social circles) libertarian political views, than look no further than Reason magazine. I finally got a subscription after all these years, and am loving it.
Bear with me on yet another unpaid plug ... Reason is really just what the title implies -- intelligent, myth-busting, thought-provoking, and non-dogmatic. Articles in recent issues have argued some stances that I already held and thought were kind of "lefty" -- i.e. that guest worker programs/amnesty of some sort for immigrants are good (http://www.reason.com/news/show/123474.html; http://www.reason.com/news/show/123912.html), that the war in Iraq is bullshit (http://www.reason.com/news/show/123195.html), and that "sex trafficking" activists are using sloppy data for their overblown "statistics" (I'd link here, but it's only in the print edition AFAIK).
Of course, libertarians (like myself) resent the stereotype that we are "pot-smoking Republicans." Though of course there is some truth in that (like any stereotype), so I may be revealing myself a little too much here by admitting that I am just jumping up and down at this article in the new issue, "The Golden Age: How Americans learned to stop worrying and love workplace drug testing". ("When organizations like the Institute for a Drug-Free Workplace attempt to quantify the impact of drugs in the workplace, they consider only their negative effects. But what about the surreptitious line of coke in the bathroom that helps a salesman meet his monthly quota, or the afternoon pot break out by the dumpsters that keeps a dishwasher sane?") Even more horrifying in the "drug-free workplace" policies is how it's bleeding over into criminal offense territory ("In Indiana, simply owning a Whizzinator ... can lead to a 180-day jail term and a $1,000 fine ... In 2004, a South Carolina man got six months in a state prison simply for selling his clean urine over the Internet.")
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!? I can see a possible criminal offense if you are trying to get around a LE/probation drug test (which was probably ordered as part of some bullshit "marijuana less than 1 ounce" arrest in the first place), but getting around some ridiculous PRIVATE SECTOR test?
Even if you DON'T smoke pot (and I rarely do anymore), how can you believe that any employer that makes you take random drug tests -- i.e. treats you like a CHILD -- respects you as a hard-working adult? I had a job like this once. At a newspaper no less. What a crock. It's not like I was driving a fucking forklift. So you're working on something, on DEADLINE, and here comes the boss with the pee-pee paper. "You've gotta go right now to the lab." Oh, sorry boss, I thought that I was hired because of my writing and reporting skills. Silly me, you are primarily interested in the chemical makeup of my bodily fluids.
(p.s. the Whizzinator synthetic urine works ... why else would they be making it illegal???)
(p.p.s. re. "pot-smoking Republicans" -- I'm NOT a Republican -- I'm pro-choice, anti-war on drugs, pro-amnesty/guest worker programs, pro-porn, and I don't believe in Creationism. But I DO like Capitalism [in the Clark Howard sense -- we DO need a "cop on the beat."] And funny enough, I agree with Reason, too, on Ayn Rand -- we like parts of her philosophy, but also see how rigid and dogmatic her ideas can be if taken to their Anarcho-Capitalist extremes, not to mention the annoying Objectivist "RandBots").
Bear with me on yet another unpaid plug ... Reason is really just what the title implies -- intelligent, myth-busting, thought-provoking, and non-dogmatic. Articles in recent issues have argued some stances that I already held and thought were kind of "lefty" -- i.e. that guest worker programs/amnesty of some sort for immigrants are good (http://www.reason.com/news/show/123474.html; http://www.reason.com/news/show/123912.html), that the war in Iraq is bullshit (http://www.reason.com/news/show/123195.html), and that "sex trafficking" activists are using sloppy data for their overblown "statistics" (I'd link here, but it's only in the print edition AFAIK).
Of course, libertarians (like myself) resent the stereotype that we are "pot-smoking Republicans." Though of course there is some truth in that (like any stereotype), so I may be revealing myself a little too much here by admitting that I am just jumping up and down at this article in the new issue, "The Golden Age: How Americans learned to stop worrying and love workplace drug testing". ("When organizations like the Institute for a Drug-Free Workplace attempt to quantify the impact of drugs in the workplace, they consider only their negative effects. But what about the surreptitious line of coke in the bathroom that helps a salesman meet his monthly quota, or the afternoon pot break out by the dumpsters that keeps a dishwasher sane?") Even more horrifying in the "drug-free workplace" policies is how it's bleeding over into criminal offense territory ("In Indiana, simply owning a Whizzinator ... can lead to a 180-day jail term and a $1,000 fine ... In 2004, a South Carolina man got six months in a state prison simply for selling his clean urine over the Internet.")
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!? I can see a possible criminal offense if you are trying to get around a LE/probation drug test (which was probably ordered as part of some bullshit "marijuana less than 1 ounce" arrest in the first place), but getting around some ridiculous PRIVATE SECTOR test?
Even if you DON'T smoke pot (and I rarely do anymore), how can you believe that any employer that makes you take random drug tests -- i.e. treats you like a CHILD -- respects you as a hard-working adult? I had a job like this once. At a newspaper no less. What a crock. It's not like I was driving a fucking forklift. So you're working on something, on DEADLINE, and here comes the boss with the pee-pee paper. "You've gotta go right now to the lab." Oh, sorry boss, I thought that I was hired because of my writing and reporting skills. Silly me, you are primarily interested in the chemical makeup of my bodily fluids.
(p.s. the Whizzinator synthetic urine works ... why else would they be making it illegal???)
(p.p.s. re. "pot-smoking Republicans" -- I'm NOT a Republican -- I'm pro-choice, anti-war on drugs, pro-amnesty/guest worker programs, pro-porn, and I don't believe in Creationism. But I DO like Capitalism [in the Clark Howard sense -- we DO need a "cop on the beat."] And funny enough, I agree with Reason, too, on Ayn Rand -- we like parts of her philosophy, but also see how rigid and dogmatic her ideas can be if taken to their Anarcho-Capitalist extremes, not to mention the annoying Objectivist "RandBots").
Saturday, February 16, 2008
DEXTER debuting on CBS tomorrow night
Yes, I am blogging about the vapid wasteland of TV. I love TV. TV is my friend.
ANYWAY. My FAVORITE show in the whole world, DEXTER, is debuting on network prime time tomorrow night at 10, on CBS. I'm sure they'll have to edit it somewhat for the network, but I'm also sure that it will still retain its sardonic wit and brilliant storytelling. Obviously, taking a Showtime series and airing it on a network is a direct result of the writers' strike, as the networks need fresh TV. But this is a damn fine show and I'm excited that it will be getting more viewers.
I don't get too much into dramas, as I mostly watch non-fiction/documentary stuff like Forensic Files and Modern Marvels, i.e. most of the lineup of TruTV and the History Channel. However, a friend turned us on to DEXTER and it is truly addictive. It's not your typical crime drama -- David Caruso isn't in it, for starters, and it's not deadly serious or moralizing. It's darkly funny and perfectly cast. And it always keeps you guessing and wondering what happens next. I HATE TV shows or movies (like, most action films, romantic comedies and Lord of the Rings-type fare) where I KNOW exactly how it's going to end (bad guys vs. good guys, and the good guys win). Why bother watching it? Where's the suspense?
If you're not familiar with the show, DEXTER, the title character, is a Miami PD forensic blood spatter analyst who moonlights as a serial killer who kills killers, i.e. a "cleaning up the neighborhood" vigilante with ethics (albeit twisted ones). As the show unwinds, you learn more about his past, his motivations, and of course, how he spins his wickedly inventive web of lies that keeps him from being found out -- for now.
Seriously, even if you aren't a huge TV fan, you really owe it to yourself to watch Dexter tomorrow night. You will thank me. (And no, they're not paying me to plug this either ;p).
ANYWAY. My FAVORITE show in the whole world, DEXTER, is debuting on network prime time tomorrow night at 10, on CBS. I'm sure they'll have to edit it somewhat for the network, but I'm also sure that it will still retain its sardonic wit and brilliant storytelling. Obviously, taking a Showtime series and airing it on a network is a direct result of the writers' strike, as the networks need fresh TV. But this is a damn fine show and I'm excited that it will be getting more viewers.
I don't get too much into dramas, as I mostly watch non-fiction/documentary stuff like Forensic Files and Modern Marvels, i.e. most of the lineup of TruTV and the History Channel. However, a friend turned us on to DEXTER and it is truly addictive. It's not your typical crime drama -- David Caruso isn't in it, for starters, and it's not deadly serious or moralizing. It's darkly funny and perfectly cast. And it always keeps you guessing and wondering what happens next. I HATE TV shows or movies (like, most action films, romantic comedies and Lord of the Rings-type fare) where I KNOW exactly how it's going to end (bad guys vs. good guys, and the good guys win). Why bother watching it? Where's the suspense?
If you're not familiar with the show, DEXTER, the title character, is a Miami PD forensic blood spatter analyst who moonlights as a serial killer who kills killers, i.e. a "cleaning up the neighborhood" vigilante with ethics (albeit twisted ones). As the show unwinds, you learn more about his past, his motivations, and of course, how he spins his wickedly inventive web of lies that keeps him from being found out -- for now.
Seriously, even if you aren't a huge TV fan, you really owe it to yourself to watch Dexter tomorrow night. You will thank me. (And no, they're not paying me to plug this either ;p).
Friday, February 15, 2008
You might be a redneck goth if ...
OMG I had totally forgotten about this list! I was going through some old (5-6 years old) writings of mine and found this link. To my surprise, it's still up!
http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~kilroy/redneck-goth.html
I'll go ahead and cut and paste some of the funniest ones here, just in case the link happens to expire. On this note, I really need to make a movie about redneck goths. Seeing as I have known so many ...
You might be a redneck goth if ...
http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~kilroy/redneck-goth.html
I'll go ahead and cut and paste some of the funniest ones here, just in case the link happens to expire. On this note, I really need to make a movie about redneck goths. Seeing as I have known so many ...
You might be a redneck goth if ...
- your coffin is up on blocks.
- your coffin is lined with a velvet confederate flag
- you have a pair of black latex overalls, with no crotch.
- you smoke cloves in a corncob pipe.
- your hearse has a shotgun rack
- your hearse's horn plays the first few notes of Dixie, in D minor.
- you check the blood type of your victim with a dipstick.
- you don't have two front teeth, but you do have fangs.
- even your teeth are black.
- you're too depressed for incest.
- you have an Elvira pinup in your outhouse.
- Your wife, mother, sister and dominatrix are all the same person.
- You burn upside down crosses.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
To the son of a bitch ...
... who keeps reporting my eBay and half.com items for "inappropriate category" or "keyword spamming" and getting them pulled (and I think I know who you are, you dick, you decided to give me a hard time in a discussion forum and I was stupid enough to use my SELLER ID instead of a POSTING ID) -- you had better STOP before I put some VOODOO on your ass.
Note to any other eBay/half.com sellers -- if you MUST go to the discussion forums to ask a question, do NOT use your seller ID. There are evil, mean-spirited trolls who just lounge on the boards all day to ridicule and harass other sellers, and apparently pick through their listings for "hair splitting" violations and turn them in. I'd never had an item pulled in SEVEN YEARS until this week (excepting ONE, a Playboy magazine not listed in eBay's prudish "mature audiences" ghetto), and now I've had EIGHT pulled, coincidentally, after going onto a discussion board on Saturday and having some, I imagine, 450-pound slob with hot dog ketchup dribbling down his quadruple chin with nothing better to do than harass a seller he feels is more successful than HIM. (Or her).
Fuck you, asshole!!! May the next hooker you pay -- to lift up your Michelin-Man belly to slob on your knob -- vomit in repulsion and leave without performing the service, but keeping your jacked-up S&H money.
Note to any other eBay/half.com sellers -- if you MUST go to the discussion forums to ask a question, do NOT use your seller ID. There are evil, mean-spirited trolls who just lounge on the boards all day to ridicule and harass other sellers, and apparently pick through their listings for "hair splitting" violations and turn them in. I'd never had an item pulled in SEVEN YEARS until this week (excepting ONE, a Playboy magazine not listed in eBay's prudish "mature audiences" ghetto), and now I've had EIGHT pulled, coincidentally, after going onto a discussion board on Saturday and having some, I imagine, 450-pound slob with hot dog ketchup dribbling down his quadruple chin with nothing better to do than harass a seller he feels is more successful than HIM. (Or her).
Fuck you, asshole!!! May the next hooker you pay -- to lift up your Michelin-Man belly to slob on your knob -- vomit in repulsion and leave without performing the service, but keeping your jacked-up S&H money.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Little Ice Age
We saw most of this show last night on the History Channel about the devastation wrought by the Little Ice Age. From the site:
Scientists call it the Little Ice Age--but its impact was anything but small. From 1300 to 1850, a period of cataclysmic cold caused havoc. It froze Viking colonists in Greenland, accelerated the Black Death in Europe, decimated the Spanish Armada, and helped trigger the French Revolution. The Little Ice Age reshaped the world in ways that now seem the stuff of fantasy--New York Harbor froze and people walked from Manhattan to Staten Island, Eskimos sailed kayaks as far south as Scotland, and "the year without a summer" saw two feet of snow fell on New England one June and July.
"It froze Viking colonists in Greenland" -- see? It used to be green! And if global warming keeps it up, it shall be green again. And as I've said before, the South shall rise again ... and we shall call it ALABAMANTARCTICA!
Scientists call it the Little Ice Age--but its impact was anything but small. From 1300 to 1850, a period of cataclysmic cold caused havoc. It froze Viking colonists in Greenland, accelerated the Black Death in Europe, decimated the Spanish Armada, and helped trigger the French Revolution. The Little Ice Age reshaped the world in ways that now seem the stuff of fantasy--New York Harbor froze and people walked from Manhattan to Staten Island, Eskimos sailed kayaks as far south as Scotland, and "the year without a summer" saw two feet of snow fell on New England one June and July.
"It froze Viking colonists in Greenland" -- see? It used to be green! And if global warming keeps it up, it shall be green again. And as I've said before, the South shall rise again ... and we shall call it ALABAMANTARCTICA!
Friday, February 1, 2008
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