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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Handwritten vaults "part deux"
This is something I wrote in August of '05 and is still something I am working on to this day, "enlightenment"-wise. I was going through a lot of personal drama at the time. I have since cut many of the people out of my life that were contributing to said drama. The following sentiments are also the reason so many blogs make my eyes want to bleed (though I was not referring to blogs at the time) ...
"It's a time to put away all things cruel, anger-ful, resentful, nasty, spiteful, even revengeful. The only true path is that of Happiness, which is so HARD because one has to LET GO, get rid of, purge and CLEANSE oneself of all the attachments to said negative things. So many of us are defined by our gripes, our peeves, our hates, our dislikes, our battles, our quests for 'eye for an eye' et al, that we don't realize how we truly suffer in the process, how we truly LOSE ourselves by groping for external justification, gratification -- 'See, I told you so,' 'See, I was right all along,' etc.
I'm so bored with, so saddened by the inherent cruelty with which we treat one another. The sub/domme, the vampire/host, the liberal/conservative, the rich/poor ... all 'class' warfares. 'I'm right, you're wrong' seems to be the motivating factor behind all who engage in such wars, and I myself have been guilty ...
It's enough to make me CRAVE simplicity, silence, peace, that non-fear ... I feel like I just want to be a happy Buddha sitting on an unfolded lotus flower of Zen. Nothing to complain about, nothing to get worked up about, just, aaaaah .... "
(Uhm, Strawberry Fields Forever? Ha ha ...)
"It's a time to put away all things cruel, anger-ful, resentful, nasty, spiteful, even revengeful. The only true path is that of Happiness, which is so HARD because one has to LET GO, get rid of, purge and CLEANSE oneself of all the attachments to said negative things. So many of us are defined by our gripes, our peeves, our hates, our dislikes, our battles, our quests for 'eye for an eye' et al, that we don't realize how we truly suffer in the process, how we truly LOSE ourselves by groping for external justification, gratification -- 'See, I told you so,' 'See, I was right all along,' etc.
I'm so bored with, so saddened by the inherent cruelty with which we treat one another. The sub/domme, the vampire/host, the liberal/conservative, the rich/poor ... all 'class' warfares. 'I'm right, you're wrong' seems to be the motivating factor behind all who engage in such wars, and I myself have been guilty ...
It's enough to make me CRAVE simplicity, silence, peace, that non-fear ... I feel like I just want to be a happy Buddha sitting on an unfolded lotus flower of Zen. Nothing to complain about, nothing to get worked up about, just, aaaaah .... "
(Uhm, Strawberry Fields Forever? Ha ha ...)
From the handwritten vaults ...
I found some really funny/interesting/downright bizarre writings of mine last night while searching for some blank notebook paper, which is always, inevitably, at the back of used notebooks. One contained a series of entries I made in my French journal that I wrote for French class in college (1997). I wrote a list of "Reasons why exercise is bad" in French. There were also entries on how much I love Tarot Cards, how I smoke too many cigarettes, how my friend Heather and I saw the movie "Anaconda" (WTF? Why would I go see that?), and from what I could understand (my French sucks worse now than it did then), how I had spoken to my ex-boyfriend that day and said that he "est un pseudo-intellectuel, pseudo-musicien, et une pseudo-personne!" Bwahahahah!
I think I would like to track down my French teacher and apologize to her. Especially for that report I did on Belgium. We were supposed to do a report on a French-speaking country and tell the class what it is famous for. I picked Belgium and made a big poster with a color printout of the pissing boy statue in Brussels and pictures of the Smurfs. "Belgium! Home of the pissing boy statue and the Smurfs!" Jeezus Christ. And she passed me. Well, I think I passed the class with extra credit. I didn't do too well on that report. I was supposed to talk about chocolates and lace.
(Image courtesy of TravelPod)
I could read and write when I was 3 years old, but it's obvious that my emotional maturity hadn't made it much past 12 when I was 19. Well, I will blame the Zoloft. And the other drugs I was doing in college. Good god. Or maybe I got something in the vaccinations. Either way, I swear, I ain't right in the head.
Anyway, here's that list on why exercise is bad. Again, my French sucks (and sucked), but I could understand most of this. :)
Plus de Raisons Pourquoi l'exercise est MAUVAIS
1. Il me fait rend fatiguée. Puis, je dors, et nous savons que le sommeil, est une perte de temps.
(Rough translation: It makes me tired, sleepy, and is a waste of time)
2. Il me donne faim. Puis, je mange beaucoup de nourriture, et l'exercise était en vain!
(It makes me hungry, then I eat too much food, making it all in vain -- THIS is still true!)
3. Il est dangereux! Si je fais du jogging, je vais peut-être entre en collision avec une voiture ...
(It's dangerous! If you go jogging, you could get hit by a car!)
4. Il va peut-être faire plus de mal que le bien. Je vois beaucoups des athlètes toujours qui ont les blessures, les béquilles, les plâtres ...
(It seems to do more harm than good. I always see many athletes who have wounds, crutches and casts)
5. Il est trop cher! On doit acheter des chaussures athlétiques, des vetements spandex, des poids; ou, on doit payer pour aller au gymnase ...
(It's too expensive! You've got to buy athletic shoes, spandex clothes, weights, then pay to go to a gym)
On doit acheter un vélo. Puie, on doit aller aux les montagnes faire du velo, et aller aux montagnes, on doit faire une promenade en voiture, et pour une promenade en voiture, on doit mettre de l'essence dans la voiture, et l'essence est très chere!!!
(I couldn't understand all this, but with some help from Babel Fish I said: you've got to buy a bicycle, then you've got to drive to the mountains to ride the bicycle. To get to the mountains you've got to drive your car, and to drive the car you've got to put gasoline in the car, and the gasoline is very expensive)
Alor, l'exercise est MAUVAIS!
And my teacher wrote at the bottom,
"bonne rationalization"
I think I would like to track down my French teacher and apologize to her. Especially for that report I did on Belgium. We were supposed to do a report on a French-speaking country and tell the class what it is famous for. I picked Belgium and made a big poster with a color printout of the pissing boy statue in Brussels and pictures of the Smurfs. "Belgium! Home of the pissing boy statue and the Smurfs!" Jeezus Christ. And she passed me. Well, I think I passed the class with extra credit. I didn't do too well on that report. I was supposed to talk about chocolates and lace.
(Image courtesy of TravelPod)
I could read and write when I was 3 years old, but it's obvious that my emotional maturity hadn't made it much past 12 when I was 19. Well, I will blame the Zoloft. And the other drugs I was doing in college. Good god. Or maybe I got something in the vaccinations. Either way, I swear, I ain't right in the head.
Anyway, here's that list on why exercise is bad. Again, my French sucks (and sucked), but I could understand most of this. :)
Plus de Raisons Pourquoi l'exercise est MAUVAIS
1. Il me fait rend fatiguée. Puis, je dors, et nous savons que le sommeil, est une perte de temps.
(Rough translation: It makes me tired, sleepy, and is a waste of time)
2. Il me donne faim. Puis, je mange beaucoup de nourriture, et l'exercise était en vain!
(It makes me hungry, then I eat too much food, making it all in vain -- THIS is still true!)
3. Il est dangereux! Si je fais du jogging, je vais peut-être entre en collision avec une voiture ...
(It's dangerous! If you go jogging, you could get hit by a car!)
4. Il va peut-être faire plus de mal que le bien. Je vois beaucoups des athlètes toujours qui ont les blessures, les béquilles, les plâtres ...
(It seems to do more harm than good. I always see many athletes who have wounds, crutches and casts)
5. Il est trop cher! On doit acheter des chaussures athlétiques, des vetements spandex, des poids; ou, on doit payer pour aller au gymnase ...
(It's too expensive! You've got to buy athletic shoes, spandex clothes, weights, then pay to go to a gym)
On doit acheter un vélo. Puie, on doit aller aux les montagnes faire du velo, et aller aux montagnes, on doit faire une promenade en voiture, et pour une promenade en voiture, on doit mettre de l'essence dans la voiture, et l'essence est très chere!!!
(I couldn't understand all this, but with some help from Babel Fish I said: you've got to buy a bicycle, then you've got to drive to the mountains to ride the bicycle. To get to the mountains you've got to drive your car, and to drive the car you've got to put gasoline in the car, and the gasoline is very expensive)
Alor, l'exercise est MAUVAIS!
And my teacher wrote at the bottom,
"bonne rationalization"
Friday, March 21, 2008
Good God, this 20/20 special on prostitution SUCKS
Alright ... a first for me, live blogging TV!
"Some are lured by the dream of a flashy lifestyle and fast money, others to feed their drug habit and just to survive, but almost all struggle with the challenge of how hard it is to get out of the profession ... Whether the women are making $20 in five minutes or $20,000 in one night, the program follows the grim spiral of dependence these women often fall into ..."
(Online story link here)
They're conflating prostitution with trafficking and childhood sexual abuse. They're saying that it's not a choice. New York Times columnist and "expert" on (any and all negative aspects of) prostitution Nicholas D. Kristof is on here who's saying that, if it is a choice, it's a contemptible one. They're saying the average life span of a prostitute is 34 years old. They're equating streetwalkers with "high end" girls -- b/c they're *all* prostitutes, ya know.
Diane Sawyer is going to soon talk to someone who helps women who "dream of a way out." She calls CraigsList a giant red light district.
Of COURSE some girls in the business were abused as children, are controlled by pimps, are assaulted on the job, are drug addicts, and may be forced into it, and of course many aspects of this business can be quite scary or lonely ... But what about the other side? Let's have some objectivity here, people!
"Statistics on these girls are hard to find, but we're told most come from broken homes ..." "Many girls have bought into the Pretty Woman idea, that it's glamorous ..."
Blah blah moralistic bullshit ... At least they're interviewing real working girls ... but, they're all "survivor" type stories ("I was raped by a boyfriend at the age of 12" "Many turn to drugs to numb themselves to the exploitation and degradation" (this from an ex-hooker)).
Sigh ...
OK, back for more ... Diane Sawyer says that ordering an escort off the internet is as easy as ordering take-out food (uhm, not if the girl SCREENS! That "food" oughta take a couple of days!).
They're doing a ride-a-long with a vice cop in Reno, who busts a lady for solicitation and gives her 180 days in jail ... holy SHIT! I missed this while typing, but my husband said that the cop said that people without residences (i.e. the homeless) in Reno don't qualify for citations, so they get jail time. (Don't quote me on this, I missed it and my husband wasn't exactly sure). A john got caught and walked free.
SIGH again ...
Reno has a "John's school" for 1st offenders, where LE scares johns by telling them about how they can get STDs and that many prostitutes walk around with razor blades in their mouths ... (never heard of that one) ...
I like a lot of 20/20's reports, but this one, URGGhhhh ...
The story online also links to a site filled with trafficking/explotation links, titled
Online Resources to Help End Sexual Exploitation -- Tips on Escaping the Industry, Advocating for Different Legislation and Raising Awareness. Among the links are Children of the Night, Coalition Against Trafficking in Women-International and National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Now, they're talking about pimps ... Diane says that one guy took in $2 million a year with just 8 girls working for him (uhm, I seriously doubt that). She talks about how "The idea of pimp as folk hero" culminated two years ago at the Oscars when the song "It's hard out here for a pimp" won ...
Well, I'm no fan of pimps, so no sympathy here really ... but big sympathy for girls who end up working for one ...
Diane reminds us: "Remember the statistics -- 60 to 90% of the girls on the streets have been molested."
Diane just said that 20/20 spent TWO years working on this special. Hmm, seems like they could have gotten some opposing viewpoints on here ...
OK hour two, looks like they actually got an "opposing" viewpoint, though Diane had a hell of a time dragging anything negative out of the "courtesan" they interviewed in silhouette ... The courtesan told Diane that she has about 7 long-term paid relationships going. Diane kept pushing her, not believing she could be happy in her choice, digging for that "aha!" "But don't you ever feel bad, that you're selling something that shouldn't be sold?" "Were you molested as a child? As a teen? Did drugs?" No, no and no. "Do you have emotional problems?" The courtesan said, "Well, yes, I'm afraid of being vulnerable. It's easier for me to have several superficial relationships than just one deep one." Diane asked, "What would it take for you to leave?" And she said, "Love, and the desire for one monogamous relationship."
"It seemed unbelievable to us that men would pay thousands at a brothel for conversation," Diane says in the next segment at the Bunny Ranch. Geez ... how long have you been covering the news, Diane? Why is this news?
"But who was Sam before prostitution, when sex was still a feeling and a gateway to love?" Diane asks a Bunny Ranch employee, trying to get her to cry over something. Come to find out the girl is divorced. Oooh, *there's* the smoking gun! "Another tale of a crushing divorce," Diane said. OK, so, now bad divorces drive you into prostitution too.
"Captain Save-a-ho" -- how the girls and the cashier at the Bunny Ranch refer to the guys who come in there thinking they'll find a wife or "rescue" a girl, b/c they'll find a girl who will fuck them every day. Ha ha, yeah, those guys are stupid.
"A lot of the girls here do do drugs, coke or ecstasy ... or xanax or valiums, just to get through their day," one girl says. Yeah, a lot of people WHO AREN'T HOOKERS do that too! "Drugs, she says, to numb you," Diane explains -- in case we didn't understand that you MUST be drugged up to do this job. Plenty of people will have a bump or a roll on the weekend to party and take xanies and valium during the week for their stress (perhaps they hate THEIR jobs) ... it's incredibly common, really -- as if this "bad behavior" is unique among working girls.
Now Diane is talking to homeless prostitutes living in abandoned houses who have sex for $5 or $10. I gather they are drug addicts b/c the camera closes up on a spoon on a table with crusty residue inside. Not much of a comment here; this is a sad situation. I mean, I DO know that they're not making this shit up, as far as just filming real people in real situations ... these ladies ARE addicts and they do what they can to survive, since their addictions keep them from being able to work "real" jobs. It's just the context, or suggestion, that this is the end result of prostitution, that you've gotta be a drug addict to do it in the first place, and that you'll end up homeless.
Again, just *one* "positive" story and 50 sad ones. A "cynical" older veteran of the brothels was shown giving negotiating tips to the new recruits at the Bunny Ranch and she seemed really funny -- why didn't they interview HER I wonder? There isn't a broad brush you can paint all escorts with!
They *did* ride around with a vice cop in the first hour who was out busting "criminals" and letting their customers go. An even MORE balanced show would have shown how many resources are wasted by LE going after these girls.
Diane says that the nation is "in denial" about how widespread prostitution is, and "its dangers." Most people are just hypocrites, like Spitzer -- most johns are normal guys that you know, pillars of the community who work respectable, straight jobs with suits and ties and may very well go to church. PLENTY of people know about prostitution -- at least, the men who see them.
Diane says that the Netherlands' openness with sex work has made it a haven for traffickers. Traffickers have left Sweden b/c the country has made it legal to sell sex but illegal to buy sex ... eh, I don't like this either. The johns get to "pay the legal price," Diane says. But, apparently the girls who are caught apparently get pushed through "exit strategy" training.
Kristof said 50% of men saw prostitutes in the 50s and only 20% do now, that, in addition to there being more "promiscuity" all around nowadays, that men now see it as demeaning and embarrassing to go to brothels. (Maybe true ... at least, if the documentary film "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" [snicker] was any indication, men "back in the day" had the approval of their wives ...)
Diane wraps it up, after looking down her nose for two hours, by quoting Jesus, who told a group of guys stoning a prostitute to call it off. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
OK, well, show is over ... you can post comments on the story on the website. I agree with one comment already: "she started by saying the overwhelming number of women are black and latino...and they are spending two hrs talking about the blonde white women" -- too true!
ADDENDA (03/22/08): I just remembered how Diane worded her question to the "courtesan" now -- she asked her, "Do you ever feel like this violates the sanctity of your body? That you're selling something that shouldn't be sold?" And you could tell that the girl, though in silhouette, kind of rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't look at it as violating the 'sanctity of my body' ..."
While trying to drag negatives out of her, the girl did say that she feared being outed and being blackmailed. She also said that she had been spied on by a client/put under surveillance (I think so she wouldn't talk about HIM or blow his cover), and that having these one-sided relationships was stressful, because since these men had wives and families, that if anything were to happen to her, they wouldn't come to her defense (b/c she's a secret); I would say, really, though, that this kind of drama isn't unique to prostitution; it's bound to happen in any relationship where you're "the other woman" and the man wants to keep you secret, or, on the other hand, if the man *knows* you see other people, but he starts getting jealous of your other relationships, falls in love with you, and decides he wants you all to himself. She did mention having unstable clients, and, well, that is indeed part of the territory. But that is part of the territory in dating, really.
(Of course, the problem with prostitution being illegal is that, if this unstable client decides to beat the shit out of the girl or threaten her, she really doesn't have much legal recourse, as LE would just be like, "well, what were you DOING in that situation in the first place?" I wonder, though, how legalization would affect a situation where the client himself would put intense pressure on a girl to not turn him in if he beat her -- "If you turn me in you'll ruin me and I'll kill you" etc etc. ... food for thought ... I guess it's a risk in ANY relationship with someone unstable.)
This "courtesan" really has what I would call multiple "sugar daddies." Unless you *label* yourself as a courtesan/prostitute, however, I think that looking for/having a sugar daddy somehow ISN'T exactly conflated with prostitution in our society -- the site SugarDaddyForMe anyone??? I seriously doubt that LE trolls this site, but, if anyone knows that I am wrong, please let me know!
One of my ex coworkers at a restaurant told me that it's really not that uncommon for some girls to have sugar daddies, at least in his experience. He said that he knew a girl who had one guy she'd fuck for her house payment, one guy she'd fuck for her other bills, etc etc ... and she somehow wasn't considered a "prostitute" -- she just had "sugar daddies."
"Some are lured by the dream of a flashy lifestyle and fast money, others to feed their drug habit and just to survive, but almost all struggle with the challenge of how hard it is to get out of the profession ... Whether the women are making $20 in five minutes or $20,000 in one night, the program follows the grim spiral of dependence these women often fall into ..."
(Online story link here)
They're conflating prostitution with trafficking and childhood sexual abuse. They're saying that it's not a choice. New York Times columnist and "expert" on (any and all negative aspects of) prostitution Nicholas D. Kristof is on here who's saying that, if it is a choice, it's a contemptible one. They're saying the average life span of a prostitute is 34 years old. They're equating streetwalkers with "high end" girls -- b/c they're *all* prostitutes, ya know.
Diane Sawyer is going to soon talk to someone who helps women who "dream of a way out." She calls CraigsList a giant red light district.
Of COURSE some girls in the business were abused as children, are controlled by pimps, are assaulted on the job, are drug addicts, and may be forced into it, and of course many aspects of this business can be quite scary or lonely ... But what about the other side? Let's have some objectivity here, people!
"Statistics on these girls are hard to find, but we're told most come from broken homes ..." "Many girls have bought into the Pretty Woman idea, that it's glamorous ..."
Blah blah moralistic bullshit ... At least they're interviewing real working girls ... but, they're all "survivor" type stories ("I was raped by a boyfriend at the age of 12" "Many turn to drugs to numb themselves to the exploitation and degradation" (this from an ex-hooker)).
Sigh ...
OK, back for more ... Diane Sawyer says that ordering an escort off the internet is as easy as ordering take-out food (uhm, not if the girl SCREENS! That "food" oughta take a couple of days!).
They're doing a ride-a-long with a vice cop in Reno, who busts a lady for solicitation and gives her 180 days in jail ... holy SHIT! I missed this while typing, but my husband said that the cop said that people without residences (i.e. the homeless) in Reno don't qualify for citations, so they get jail time. (Don't quote me on this, I missed it and my husband wasn't exactly sure). A john got caught and walked free.
SIGH again ...
Reno has a "John's school" for 1st offenders, where LE scares johns by telling them about how they can get STDs and that many prostitutes walk around with razor blades in their mouths ... (never heard of that one) ...
I like a lot of 20/20's reports, but this one, URGGhhhh ...
The story online also links to a site filled with trafficking/explotation links, titled
Online Resources to Help End Sexual Exploitation -- Tips on Escaping the Industry, Advocating for Different Legislation and Raising Awareness. Among the links are Children of the Night, Coalition Against Trafficking in Women-International and National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Now, they're talking about pimps ... Diane says that one guy took in $2 million a year with just 8 girls working for him (uhm, I seriously doubt that). She talks about how "The idea of pimp as folk hero" culminated two years ago at the Oscars when the song "It's hard out here for a pimp" won ...
Well, I'm no fan of pimps, so no sympathy here really ... but big sympathy for girls who end up working for one ...
Diane reminds us: "Remember the statistics -- 60 to 90% of the girls on the streets have been molested."
Diane just said that 20/20 spent TWO years working on this special. Hmm, seems like they could have gotten some opposing viewpoints on here ...
OK hour two, looks like they actually got an "opposing" viewpoint, though Diane had a hell of a time dragging anything negative out of the "courtesan" they interviewed in silhouette ... The courtesan told Diane that she has about 7 long-term paid relationships going. Diane kept pushing her, not believing she could be happy in her choice, digging for that "aha!" "But don't you ever feel bad, that you're selling something that shouldn't be sold?" "Were you molested as a child? As a teen? Did drugs?" No, no and no. "Do you have emotional problems?" The courtesan said, "Well, yes, I'm afraid of being vulnerable. It's easier for me to have several superficial relationships than just one deep one." Diane asked, "What would it take for you to leave?" And she said, "Love, and the desire for one monogamous relationship."
"It seemed unbelievable to us that men would pay thousands at a brothel for conversation," Diane says in the next segment at the Bunny Ranch. Geez ... how long have you been covering the news, Diane? Why is this news?
"But who was Sam before prostitution, when sex was still a feeling and a gateway to love?" Diane asks a Bunny Ranch employee, trying to get her to cry over something. Come to find out the girl is divorced. Oooh, *there's* the smoking gun! "Another tale of a crushing divorce," Diane said. OK, so, now bad divorces drive you into prostitution too.
"Captain Save-a-ho" -- how the girls and the cashier at the Bunny Ranch refer to the guys who come in there thinking they'll find a wife or "rescue" a girl, b/c they'll find a girl who will fuck them every day. Ha ha, yeah, those guys are stupid.
"A lot of the girls here do do drugs, coke or ecstasy ... or xanax or valiums, just to get through their day," one girl says. Yeah, a lot of people WHO AREN'T HOOKERS do that too! "Drugs, she says, to numb you," Diane explains -- in case we didn't understand that you MUST be drugged up to do this job. Plenty of people will have a bump or a roll on the weekend to party and take xanies and valium during the week for their stress (perhaps they hate THEIR jobs) ... it's incredibly common, really -- as if this "bad behavior" is unique among working girls.
Now Diane is talking to homeless prostitutes living in abandoned houses who have sex for $5 or $10. I gather they are drug addicts b/c the camera closes up on a spoon on a table with crusty residue inside. Not much of a comment here; this is a sad situation. I mean, I DO know that they're not making this shit up, as far as just filming real people in real situations ... these ladies ARE addicts and they do what they can to survive, since their addictions keep them from being able to work "real" jobs. It's just the context, or suggestion, that this is the end result of prostitution, that you've gotta be a drug addict to do it in the first place, and that you'll end up homeless.
Again, just *one* "positive" story and 50 sad ones. A "cynical" older veteran of the brothels was shown giving negotiating tips to the new recruits at the Bunny Ranch and she seemed really funny -- why didn't they interview HER I wonder? There isn't a broad brush you can paint all escorts with!
They *did* ride around with a vice cop in the first hour who was out busting "criminals" and letting their customers go. An even MORE balanced show would have shown how many resources are wasted by LE going after these girls.
Diane says that the nation is "in denial" about how widespread prostitution is, and "its dangers." Most people are just hypocrites, like Spitzer -- most johns are normal guys that you know, pillars of the community who work respectable, straight jobs with suits and ties and may very well go to church. PLENTY of people know about prostitution -- at least, the men who see them.
Diane says that the Netherlands' openness with sex work has made it a haven for traffickers. Traffickers have left Sweden b/c the country has made it legal to sell sex but illegal to buy sex ... eh, I don't like this either. The johns get to "pay the legal price," Diane says. But, apparently the girls who are caught apparently get pushed through "exit strategy" training.
Kristof said 50% of men saw prostitutes in the 50s and only 20% do now, that, in addition to there being more "promiscuity" all around nowadays, that men now see it as demeaning and embarrassing to go to brothels. (Maybe true ... at least, if the documentary film "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" [snicker] was any indication, men "back in the day" had the approval of their wives ...)
Diane wraps it up, after looking down her nose for two hours, by quoting Jesus, who told a group of guys stoning a prostitute to call it off. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
OK, well, show is over ... you can post comments on the story on the website. I agree with one comment already: "she started by saying the overwhelming number of women are black and latino...and they are spending two hrs talking about the blonde white women" -- too true!
ADDENDA (03/22/08): I just remembered how Diane worded her question to the "courtesan" now -- she asked her, "Do you ever feel like this violates the sanctity of your body? That you're selling something that shouldn't be sold?" And you could tell that the girl, though in silhouette, kind of rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't look at it as violating the 'sanctity of my body' ..."
While trying to drag negatives out of her, the girl did say that she feared being outed and being blackmailed. She also said that she had been spied on by a client/put under surveillance (I think so she wouldn't talk about HIM or blow his cover), and that having these one-sided relationships was stressful, because since these men had wives and families, that if anything were to happen to her, they wouldn't come to her defense (b/c she's a secret); I would say, really, though, that this kind of drama isn't unique to prostitution; it's bound to happen in any relationship where you're "the other woman" and the man wants to keep you secret, or, on the other hand, if the man *knows* you see other people, but he starts getting jealous of your other relationships, falls in love with you, and decides he wants you all to himself. She did mention having unstable clients, and, well, that is indeed part of the territory. But that is part of the territory in dating, really.
(Of course, the problem with prostitution being illegal is that, if this unstable client decides to beat the shit out of the girl or threaten her, she really doesn't have much legal recourse, as LE would just be like, "well, what were you DOING in that situation in the first place?" I wonder, though, how legalization would affect a situation where the client himself would put intense pressure on a girl to not turn him in if he beat her -- "If you turn me in you'll ruin me and I'll kill you" etc etc. ... food for thought ... I guess it's a risk in ANY relationship with someone unstable.)
This "courtesan" really has what I would call multiple "sugar daddies." Unless you *label* yourself as a courtesan/prostitute, however, I think that looking for/having a sugar daddy somehow ISN'T exactly conflated with prostitution in our society -- the site SugarDaddyForMe anyone??? I seriously doubt that LE trolls this site, but, if anyone knows that I am wrong, please let me know!
One of my ex coworkers at a restaurant told me that it's really not that uncommon for some girls to have sugar daddies, at least in his experience. He said that he knew a girl who had one guy she'd fuck for her house payment, one guy she'd fuck for her other bills, etc etc ... and she somehow wasn't considered a "prostitute" -- she just had "sugar daddies."
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sunday randoms
OK to avoid twitterrhea guess I'll post my random thoughts in the blog ...
So it is Sunday and I am off, as I will be off on every Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future (knock very very heavily on wood) because I actually got myself a 9 to 5, M-F job doing something I actually want to do -- editing/proofing copy! The pay doesn't suck either. I'll just say that it's NOT in the 20s ... I know, it's tres gauche to talk about what you make, but every job I've ever had paid somewhere in the 20s (with one exception of one job that actually paid $30k), so I'm pretty excited about this.
Now, what sucks is that my husband works in retail (as he has for many many years) so I'll be spending Saturdays alone (guess that's a good excuse to visit friends). He's at work today too. Hopefully he'll be able to at least get Sundays off. I'd like to see my folks next Sunday, but it's Easter and I know they'll drag me to some God & Jesus passion play so I'll have to hold off.
In other exciting news, I am watching Gene Simmons' Family Jewels on A&E. I'd never seen this until last Sunday, and I really like it. (I'd never really gotten into the Osbournes, not having cable for most of 2003). I have a particular fondness for Gene's uber-hot son Nick.
I like Gene Simmons because he LIKES being a star. That's why I didn't care much for Nirvana and the whole grunge movement, those guys hated being "rock stars." I guess that kind of music/aesthetic appealed to the whiny, disaffected youth of the '90s, but to me it was just NO FUN. I loved BRIT POP, shoegazer music and punk-pop (like Green Day/Rancid/NOFX) in the 90s (and still do). Now, one of my guilty pleasures is 80s hair "metal"(?) like Def Leppard and Enuff Z'Nuff, though that stuff isn't really metal -- it's more like Cheap Trick-style power pop. But that music is just FUN. Like rock oughta be.
Lessee, what else ... I got my *very first* virus last night on my new HP Windows Vista laptop. I should put this in my computer's baby book! My computer still works; the bug has just disabled Task Manager and keeps spitting up annoying spam faux "security warning" pop-up windows. No, I still don't want a Mac (as it was MY fault I got the virus anyway, from downloading a bad torrent). Getting rid of viruses on PCs honestly gives you good Microsoft OS training, ha ha. I've often toyed with the idea of becoming one of those "geek squad" people (though not really wanting to work at Best Buy), going to people's houses and charging fat $$$ to clean up their machines. I heard that Best Buy actually charges, like, $150 to run Spybot or Adaware. But, some lazy people are willing to pay it. So, then, so what, I guess? Good side job if you ask me.
So it is Sunday and I am off, as I will be off on every Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future (knock very very heavily on wood) because I actually got myself a 9 to 5, M-F job doing something I actually want to do -- editing/proofing copy! The pay doesn't suck either. I'll just say that it's NOT in the 20s ... I know, it's tres gauche to talk about what you make, but every job I've ever had paid somewhere in the 20s (with one exception of one job that actually paid $30k), so I'm pretty excited about this.
Now, what sucks is that my husband works in retail (as he has for many many years) so I'll be spending Saturdays alone (guess that's a good excuse to visit friends). He's at work today too. Hopefully he'll be able to at least get Sundays off. I'd like to see my folks next Sunday, but it's Easter and I know they'll drag me to some God & Jesus passion play so I'll have to hold off.
In other exciting news, I am watching Gene Simmons' Family Jewels on A&E. I'd never seen this until last Sunday, and I really like it. (I'd never really gotten into the Osbournes, not having cable for most of 2003). I have a particular fondness for Gene's uber-hot son Nick.
I like Gene Simmons because he LIKES being a star. That's why I didn't care much for Nirvana and the whole grunge movement, those guys hated being "rock stars." I guess that kind of music/aesthetic appealed to the whiny, disaffected youth of the '90s, but to me it was just NO FUN. I loved BRIT POP, shoegazer music and punk-pop (like Green Day/Rancid/NOFX) in the 90s (and still do). Now, one of my guilty pleasures is 80s hair "metal"(?) like Def Leppard and Enuff Z'Nuff, though that stuff isn't really metal -- it's more like Cheap Trick-style power pop. But that music is just FUN. Like rock oughta be.
Lessee, what else ... I got my *very first* virus last night on my new HP Windows Vista laptop. I should put this in my computer's baby book! My computer still works; the bug has just disabled Task Manager and keeps spitting up annoying spam faux "security warning" pop-up windows. No, I still don't want a Mac (as it was MY fault I got the virus anyway, from downloading a bad torrent). Getting rid of viruses on PCs honestly gives you good Microsoft OS training, ha ha. I've often toyed with the idea of becoming one of those "geek squad" people (though not really wanting to work at Best Buy), going to people's houses and charging fat $$$ to clean up their machines. I heard that Best Buy actually charges, like, $150 to run Spybot or Adaware. But, some lazy people are willing to pay it. So, then, so what, I guess? Good side job if you ask me.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
20/20 airing special on "Age of Consent"
Wow, my little psychic antennae must be onto something ... as many of you may know I'm a big John Stossel fan (though I don't agree with him on everything), and I'm thrilled to see that he, too, is attacking the Sex Offender hysteria in his upcoming special "Age of Consent," which I just found out about today. I couldn't find a link to it on the Web but I got this from the "Give Me a Break!" e-mail (that I get on Thursdays). Love or hate Mr. Mustache, but I am very THANKFUL that someone so high profile is finally saying ENOUGH ALREADY!:
John Stossel: "Give Me a Break!"
This Friday on "20/20" at 10 p.m. ET, we preview my next special, Age of Consent, airing next Friday, March 14.
Our government wants to protect our children from sexual predators. States have passed laws to try to keep molesters far away. But as so often happens with so many laws, there are unintended consequences.
For people like Frank Rodriguez, whose story we will tell Friday, the net traps and doesn't let go.
Frank and Nikki were high school sweethearts. He was a senior and she was his freshman girlfriend. This relationship caused him to end up on the Texas state sex registry list.
It happened because Nikki's mom, like most mothers, was not pleased when she found out her daughter was having sex. One night during a fight, Nikki's mother took Nikki down to the police station and filed charges against Frank. He was 19; she was 15. In Texas the legal age of consent is 16… And so began Frank's endless entanglement with the U.S. legal system.
The next morning, after tempers simmered, Nikki's mom tried to drop the charges, but the police said it was too late. Even though Nikki said that the sex "was her idea," that Frank was her boyfriend, and that everything was consensual, none of that mattered: the law was the law. Rather than face a possible 20 year prison sentence, Frank took a plea deal that gave him 7 years probation. The plea bargain kept him out of prison but it gave him a different kind of life sentence — life as a registered sex offender. Frank had to move away from his family into mobile home, because his 12 year old sister lived in the family home and he was not permitted to be near her. He had to get special permission from a judge to watch his brother play high school football because there were kids at the game.
Today, Frank and Nikki are married. They have four daughters together, but that doesn't matter in the eyes of the law. On the Texas state registry, Frank will be branded for life as a sex offender. How is that just?
Next week we will spend the full hour on sex and the age of consent.
John Stossel: "Give Me a Break!"
This Friday on "20/20" at 10 p.m. ET, we preview my next special, Age of Consent, airing next Friday, March 14.
Our government wants to protect our children from sexual predators. States have passed laws to try to keep molesters far away. But as so often happens with so many laws, there are unintended consequences.
For people like Frank Rodriguez, whose story we will tell Friday, the net traps and doesn't let go.
Frank and Nikki were high school sweethearts. He was a senior and she was his freshman girlfriend. This relationship caused him to end up on the Texas state sex registry list.
It happened because Nikki's mom, like most mothers, was not pleased when she found out her daughter was having sex. One night during a fight, Nikki's mother took Nikki down to the police station and filed charges against Frank. He was 19; she was 15. In Texas the legal age of consent is 16… And so began Frank's endless entanglement with the U.S. legal system.
The next morning, after tempers simmered, Nikki's mom tried to drop the charges, but the police said it was too late. Even though Nikki said that the sex "was her idea," that Frank was her boyfriend, and that everything was consensual, none of that mattered: the law was the law. Rather than face a possible 20 year prison sentence, Frank took a plea deal that gave him 7 years probation. The plea bargain kept him out of prison but it gave him a different kind of life sentence — life as a registered sex offender. Frank had to move away from his family into mobile home, because his 12 year old sister lived in the family home and he was not permitted to be near her. He had to get special permission from a judge to watch his brother play high school football because there were kids at the game.
Today, Frank and Nikki are married. They have four daughters together, but that doesn't matter in the eyes of the law. On the Texas state registry, Frank will be branded for life as a sex offender. How is that just?
Next week we will spend the full hour on sex and the age of consent.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
My oh my ... quiz time
Test ganked from Amber:
Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too!
Version 2 is leaner, meaner, and features a more mature and varied set of questions than the previous test. Enjoy!
TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite
Eh, it's right on some things and wrong on others. Lower Middle Class ... HA HA! I guess cos I don't like coffeeshops or own a Mac!
It's dead wrong in saying I'm not analytical, driven or optimistic. Guess it says I'm not outgoing or social b/c I said I'm a loner. Hmmm. And 100% emotional??? I think that's an overstatement. I hate those either/or type questions. 100% criminality??? Hmmm, that too is debatable ...
E2: The Everything Test 2
There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too!
Version 2 is leaner, meaner, and features a more mature and varied set of questions than the previous test. Enjoy!
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Politics Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, while philosophically you tend to think like a Conservative. | Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Lower Middle Class. You make more than 69% of those who have taken this test, and 31% less than the U.S. average. |
| You tend to think more like an artist than an engineer. | Location-wise, you would probably be a good fit for the City. |
TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite
Eh, it's right on some things and wrong on others. Lower Middle Class ... HA HA! I guess cos I don't like coffeeshops or own a Mac!
It's dead wrong in saying I'm not analytical, driven or optimistic. Guess it says I'm not outgoing or social b/c I said I'm a loner. Hmmm. And 100% emotional??? I think that's an overstatement. I hate those either/or type questions. 100% criminality??? Hmmm, that too is debatable ...
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